Aが ...しないでほしい or Aに ...しないでほしい?

Question

遊「いい先輩だけど！俺にとってはちょっとやっかいな先輩なの！」

子供の頃、無理矢理、乱取り稽古に付き合わされたし。

本人は『あんたをもっと強くしてやる』という善意だったらしいが。

そもそも合気道の達人が、一般人と8時間も組み手をしないでほしい。

Hi. I was taught to use the construction 「Aに ...しないでほしい」. So why is the bold part が instead of に? Doesn’t it mean “I don’t want the 達人 to practice 合気道 with ordinary people for 8 hours”?

Thank you.

Answer 1

This is a very interesting question and I don't have a clear answer, but I'm wondering if this is related to the "derogatory vocative-like が" explained in this and this.

This が is used only when the speaker has a negative feeling about the person. For example, you cannot replace に with が in the following examples (at least, not with the same meaning):

• 彼にこの本を読んで欲しい。
• 彼にこの本を読まないで欲しい。
  ^{(EDIT: Apparently this is not as common as I had initially perceived; see the comments and Kay's answer)}
• 彼にこの本を読んで欲しくない。

However, somehow we can say the following:

• 彼のような人間がこの本を読まないで欲しい。
• 彼のような人間がこの本を読んで欲しくない。
• 馬鹿がこの本を読まないで欲しい。
• 馬鹿がこの本を読んで欲しくない。

And the only reason I can think of is that 彼のような人間 and 馬鹿 are negative/derogatory phrases. Of course 合気道の達人 is basically positive, but here it has a negative implication, "an inappropriate person to train a child".

Unfortunately I don't know how this can be generalized further...

Answer 2

Technically speaking, が marks the subject that wants someone else to do something, just as you say.

• Aが Bに …してほしい：A wants B to do it

In practice, however, the form of してほしい itself often functions as a mood, rather than voice, that stands for the speaker's own desire. As a result, it's also used in the form where が marks the agent of the desired action.

• Aが …してほしい： I want A to do it / A should do it

As for the difference between normal に, the が version conveys a sense that you want or do not want none other than that person to do it. In that sense, we could think of it as a kind of exhaustive が.

Answer 3

First, I think しないでほしい is usually not used with ～に in this situation though ”してほしくない” is often used with ～に.

In my opinion, しないでほしい is usually used solely. The object is "you", and it is usually omitted.

そこに座らないでほしい。　I want you not to sit there.

Aに...しないでほしい can be used with "と言った", "と思った" and so on in a sentence like this:

私は彼にもうこれ以上罪を侵さないでほしいと言った。
I said to him that I wanted him not to commit sin anymore.
or
I said to him "I want you not to commit sin anymore.".

Perhaps, Aに...しないでほしい you learned may be as below.

彼に迷惑行為をしないでほしい。　I want you not to do him anything he doesn't like.
彼女に近づくことはしないでしい。/彼女に近づかないでほしい。 I want you not to be close to her.

In this case, there are two object unlike the above two cases. One is "you" and the other is "someone/something".
It is the case we want "you" not to do something to "someone/something".

If you said

そもそも合気道の達人に、一般人と8時間も組み手をしないでほしい。

I think this means...

In the first place, I want you not to do Kumite against 達人 (cooperating) with ordinary people for 8 hours.

However, In my opinion, the correct meaning is

In the first place, I want you not to do anything like that 達人 (like you) does sparring/Kumite with ordinary people (like me) for 8 hours.”
そもそも合気道の達人が一般人と8時間も組み手をするなんてこと、しないでほしい。

I think 遊 talks to 先輩 directly in his brain though she is not there.

By the way, there is another explanation like this or other answers.
Perhaps, I could be wrong, but I strongly feel it is weird to say/hear "AはBに～しないでほしい"... though it may be grammatically correct.

So, please note this is just my opinion as a Japanese.