From https://www.imabi.net/theparticleto.htm,
と may mark a subject being compared. As for 似る, ~に似る and ~と似る are possible but slightly different. と in this case marks one side of a mutual relation(ship) whereas に only shows the standard of comparison. They both, though, make the second person the basis of comparison when the pattern is XはY{に・と}似ている. Consider the following:
31a その父と子は似ている。〇
31b.その子はお父さんと似ている。 〇
31c. その子はお父さんに似ている。 〇
31d. その父は息子と似ている。 〇
31e. その父は息子に似ている。 X
The child resembles his father.
I don't understand why 31e is incorrect. It seems like it is wrong only because of the relationship between 父 and 息子 but wouldn't that also make 31c wrong?
To be honest, I still don't understand the distinction between the two particle uses (bolded sentence in the quoted section). When you compare X
and Y
, doesn't Y
naturally become a "standard of comparison""? Does に also work with asymmetrical relationships? When you say X
is similar to Y
, aren't you also saying that Y
is like X
.