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Oct 7, 2020 at 19:40 comment added Darius Jahandarie The somewhat casual language you're using (の、よ、etc) makes it feel slightly more like some sort of song lyrics than poetry proper (which in Japanese tends to have a sort of more orthodox feel to it). Not necessarily an issue (in fact it could be a strength which makes it more interesting) but just so you know.
Oct 7, 2020 at 4:16 history reopened Flaw
Oct 7, 2020 at 4:16 history closed istrasci
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Oct 7, 2020 at 4:08 answer added broccoli forest timeline score: 5
Oct 6, 2020 at 15:56 review Close votes
S Oct 7, 2020 at 4:16
Oct 6, 2020 at 11:02 review First posts
S Oct 7, 2020 at 4:16
Oct 6, 2020 at 10:53 history asked Asal CC BY-SA 4.0