Here is the song, and this is the video. Any comments on the linked translation are welcome.
This is the part I want to focus on:
もし僕が死んで | Moshi boku ga shinde
涙を流す | Namida wo nagasu
人がいるなら | Hito ga iru nara
涙が左の | Namida ga hidari no
鼓動を揺らす | Kodou wo yurasu
震え上がる証を | Furueagaru akashi wo
僕はここにいる | Boku wa koko ni iru
今生きている | Ima ikite iru
叫び続けて進む | Sakebitsudzukete susumu
My first translation attempt would be:
If I, while dying,
If there was someone [with me then]…
Tears the left-side
Beating shake up,
A proof that trembles,
I am here,
[I] am living now,
[I] walk on as [I] keep on shouting
Then I learn that "omae wa mou shinde iru" is not "you are dying" but "you are dead" (btw would I be right in saying "shinu" is more of "to be dead" than "to die"?), so the first line would be "If I were dead", at which point "Namida wo nagasu" cannot have "I" as a subject, so I must take it as a relative clause:
If, when I was dead, There was someone Shedding tears
Then, after realizing "the left-side beating" refers to the hearbeat, I wonder:
- Whose heartbeat?
- Who is the subject of furueagaru?
- This "proof/testimony that trembles", what is it? And who is doing what to it, given we have an object particle "wo" after it?
About the last one, I asked this Quora question, where I got one answer saying the subject and verb of that incomplete sentences are the same "namida" and "yurasu" of the previous line, and another answer which, once the comments are taken into account, is telling me that I should count the proof/testimony as an apposition of the heartbeat, so the heartbeat is a proof/testimony that trembles. Well, it says "testimony of trembling"… hmm…
And then I wonder: should I be linking the dying part and the testimony part, so the tears that shake whatever they shake belong to whoever was crying at the singer's death?
And finally, I learn that "nara" signifies the action before "nara" comes after the action after "nara", so the shinde would be before the iru.
So let's put out some possible translations (omitting the last three lines because those have no doubts for me):
If, once I were dead, There were people Shedding tears… [My] tears shake [My] heartbeat, [They shake] a trembling proof/testimony
If, once I were dead, There were people Shedding tears, [Their] tears will shake [My] heartbeat, A trembling proof/testimony
If, once I were dead, There were people Shedding tears, [Their] tears will shake [My? Their?] heartbeat, A proof/testimony of [my? their?] trembling
Which would you recommend? In what sense is the heartbeat a proof/testimony of trembling or a trembling proof/testimony? Proof or testimony? Whose heartbeat and whose trembling? Should I read the akashi line as having a different verb and/or subject?
I read your question to “about the ending of Akashi by Zone”. Though I don't know Japanese, maybe the singer implies that the tears, shed by those who are present to his death, have the power to shake up a trembling heartbeat, thus proving that those tears can bring him back to life?
A suggestion I got. Could that be it?
I asked this question almost or over 27h ago, and the only reaction were two close votes for "violating a community guideline", allegedly because this is a translation question where "no prior effort is shown". Excuse me? I've shown you the evolution of my translation attempts, I've given multiple possible translations as of now, I've asked specific interpretation questions… WHAT OTHER "EFFORT" DO YOU WANT?
I came back here from Quora after ages because I wanted a body to my question, and this is the result? Guess I'm going right back there. Time to cross-post.