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I have been struggling to differentiate the 2 で, especially when in cases where they both can make sense. Outside of the rules that I found that で particle can only be attached to single standing nouns and cannot be attached to the B part of AがB sentence directly without の, while で can because it’s the Te form of だ. I have noticed a pattern of native speech that when the で is said in a rising pitch, it’s most likely the で as te form of だ and で spoken with a falling pitch is the で particle. I have thought of this when I saw it somewhere that the connecting て form in general are meant to sound high pitch so that it can capture the others attention and signaling the sentence is not yet finished. This is just my speculation since I have not heard enough samples yet.

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    What exactly do you mean by で "cannot be attached to the B part of AがB"? Are you suggesting that something like 私がペンで手紙を書いた is ungrammatical? I don't follow.
    – A.Ellett
    Dec 18, 2021 at 1:10
  • Are you talking about でぇ that starts high and goes down as it is dragged?
    – aguijonazo
    Dec 18, 2021 at 2:13
  • @aguijonazo yes that’s what I mean :). As oppose to the one that rises up or keeps leveled
    – Tung
    Dec 18, 2021 at 2:19
  • @A.Ellett No, because in your sentence 書いた would be the B part. I meant sentences where A = B where B is a noun. An example sentence would be 私が日本人で日本に住みます
    – Tung
    Dec 18, 2021 at 2:22
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    @A.Ellett - I may be mistaken but I think Tung means the predicate of a clause by B and is stating that only the copula で can be directly attached to it while the particle で can follow it only as part of ので (e.g. 書いたので). But this doesn’t seem to be very helpful as a guideline. You would have to know whether the part before で is a predicate or not first. If you can tell that, you don’t need to rely on pitch.
    – aguijonazo
    Dec 18, 2021 at 4:45

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