Here's my presentation, I'm in high school right now in the highest level Japanese class they have, but I want to know if my grammar is wrong or if I can improve some things in it, as well as slowly stray away from the sentence frames my teacher gives us like "最小に、〜です。” and overusing "今から〜の説明します。” as an introduction and "ここから以上です。” as a conclusion. I'm supposed to record this tonight but I would still like some feedback and help regardless because I feel like it will be useful in the future.

"今からの発表に食品添加物の説明します。食品添加物はいい点と悪い点があります。 最小に、食品添加物が食べものに使用されたらもっと美味しくなります。例えば、ぶどう味グミに甘味料と香料を両方使って、そのお菓子の味と匂いがもっと美味しくなります。でも、この添加物が体に悪くて、色々な危険な影響があります。甘味料にいろんな種類があるけど、アスパルテームに集中します。アスパルテームは危険な甘味料です。発がん性だから、食べさせ過ぎたら体に危険になりそうです。 なぜ食品添加物があまりいい点がないんですか? 食品添加物が味とどれぐらいまで食べる以外にいい点があまりありません。 お菓子の会社に私のアドバイスは、無添加お菓子を作ったら、お菓子が食べる人にいいです。ここから以上です。”

I just want feedback in general as well, anything helps. I feel like I overuse "ます” and "です” as well, and I feel like posting this on here is better than learning off of Google Translate since I know that GT isn't the most reliable tool.

Other questions I have if you want to help: How can I make my presentation more interesting? (I tried using a question in my presentation to try to change the format and make it more interesting.) In this sentence, I said "食品添加物が味とどれぐらいまで食べる以外にいい点があまりありません。" I was trying to say "Other than taste and how long until you can't eat it, there aren't a lot of good things about food additives." I don't know if I worded it right.

That's all. Thank you if you can help!


Asking general feedback is off-topic on this site, but the last paragraph contains a question that can have a clear answer.

"Other than taste and how long until you can't eat it, there aren't a lot of good things about food additives."

The part "there aren't ... additives" is the main clause of the sentence, so you must say this part in one piece in Japanese too.


X (に)はいいことがある has a meaning "X does something good", so that fits more nicely here.

Then for the first part, we have a convenient word 日持ち for "how long a (perishable) thing lasts" that you can use. (Your attempt どれぐらいまで食べる unfortunately makes no sense in this context.)


putting together,


Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.