I'm re-reading a light novel and I don't think I'm going to figure this sentence out anytime soon...
Quick context: one day a man meets a teenage girl, makes it clear that although he finds her cute, he has no interest in her romantically since she's too young.
Next day, he starts talking to her more and starts berating her, calling her stupid and disapproving of her lifestyle. Mid-tirade, it cuts to his thoughts. The first two quotes I understand, but the last one confuses me:
Actually, seeing her face head-on, she is pretty cute
Wait, why. Why are feelings like that all that's stirring inside me?
I honestly feel young and like I'm in love. Are those feelings there because I couldn't live like that I wonder?
From what I found, まっとうに means decently, honestly, seriously. And 青春｛せいしゅん｝をする means to feel young or be reminded of your youth. So if I guessed about the first part it'd be "She's so earnestly young", but then there's a 恋｛こい｝ out of nowhere. It doesn't make sense for him to have feelings for her- it's not brought up again for a while in the story and doesn't fit the current scene.
I'm really not sure who the subject is of the third quote or what the sentence means; I'm just not sure how to translate まっとうに exactly and how the 青春｛せいしゅん｝をする, 恋｛こい｝をする, and 生｛い｝きられなかった connect to the situation and his thoughts.
Any help will be appreciated!