This serves as a follow up question related to this, with a focus on the last paragraph. Again, here's the passage:
What makes this sentence difficult to understand is it introduces a subject 自分 and makes use of そう which acts like a 指示詞.
What I know so far
From broccoli facemask's (broc's) comment, I learned that 自分 refers to the author, and that it is the author's way of sympathizing with the 輝いている人.
What I don't know yet
- What does そう refer to? Or even before that, do the two そう refer to two different things? At first I thought the first そう refers to 辛いこと but if I try to match broc's comment, it doesn't make sense that 自分 = 筆者 will become a concept: 辛いこと. So it must be that the first そう refers to 輝いている人. Then the second そう must refer to a feeling as hinted by the verb 感じる so it must refer to 辛いこと.
- Knowing that 自分 = 筆者 and keeping in mind brocs's comment that "自分がそうなってみて、実感としてそう感じる means that he actually feels it, not only an imagination", I still can't understand the construction of the verb なってみて. As I understand it, this can be broken down to なってみても = なる + てみる + ても, where てみる is the grammar point explained here and ても is the grammar point explained here. If this is correct, I would translate this to "(Even) if I try to be like 輝いている人, I will really feel the 辛いこと."
So there goes my line of reasoning. Where did I go wrong?