I came across this sentence


and the explaining was この例文は、デートができる立場でありつつ、まだ完全なカップルとは言えない人の心を文章にしたものです。 デートは毎回勝負で、次回のデートの誘いを断られないよう、努力をしている様子が伝わります。

It appears as if it means to just keep on dating with no intention of making things serious. is that true ?or does it mean the opposite ?

  • 1
    He wants to build a steady relationship, but there is a large hurdle between "デートできる" and "(officially) 付き合っている" in Japan (although both of them may mean "to date" in English). There is nothing strange to go out together several times before formally getting into the 付き合っている mode. Rather, the more serious he is, the longer this "intermediate" period tends to be. Perhaps this is why ラブコメ is so popular in Japan, too. If you still don't understand his situation here, this article might help.
    – naruto
    Apr 28, 2020 at 2:33

2 Answers 2


I'm not sure how well you've parsed/understood the original sentence, so I'll go through it one bit at a time.

In this case, 次 (next) most likely refers to an additional date, given the context of the sentence.


AがBに/と繋がる literally means "A connects to/with B". In your sentence, this is a relative clause describing デート.


Literally "(A) date that connects to the next date". More colloquially, however, we might say "(a) date that leads to another date".


AをBにする translates roughly as "to make A into B". From context, we can reasonably assume that "A" is probably referring to either a current date, or a coming date. This gives this portion the meaning of "(someone) want to make (this date / their upcoming date) into one that leads to another date".


Here, と is the quotative particle, and 誓う translates as "to vow" or "to swear".

So all in all, I would translate your sentence into something like "(Someone) vows to make (their upcoming / this current) date one that will lead to another date".

This says absolutely nothing about whether the speaker intends or doesn't intend to make things serious. We simply cannot know without further context.


The person's mind is towards dating only. He considers it like a game. Thus he is not capable of being in perfect relationship.

  • Would you mind explaining where you picked up on that nuance?
    – sbkgs4686
    Apr 27, 2020 at 23:34
  • That is the explanation given by the op in Japanese. Apr 28, 2020 at 1:26
  • I disagree. Nowhere does it mention the speaker considering dating to be a game, nor does it mention anything about being able to be in a perfect relationship. It doesn't mention anything about the speaker only thinking about dating, either.
    – sbkgs4686
    Apr 28, 2020 at 1:37
  • It says 「カップルとは言えない人の心」which'll mean the person has no heart to be a couple. Further 「 デートは毎回勝負」intends that person's attitude towards date is that of a game. Apr 28, 2020 at 1:57
  • 2
    カップルとは言えない人の心 - "The mindset of a person / people who can't say they're a couple" doesn't mean that the person/people involved don't want to be a couple. It only says that they can't say they're a couple (yet). As for デートは毎回勝負, this 勝負 doesn't mean 'game' in the sense of something one does for fun. Think of it more like 'a matter of winning or losing', in that if the person doesn't try their best, they might not get another date.
    – sbkgs4686
    Apr 28, 2020 at 2:00

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