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This was probably asked before but I just can't find the right post ...

I was taught that while てくれる and てもらえる both express that I or a peer of mine receive(s) something, the subject will be different, e.g.

○○は私にプレゼントを贈ってくれる。 (○○ give(s) me a present)

私は!○○にプレゼントを贈ってもらう。(I get a present from ○○)

but if you use the forms to make a request, that rule seems to not apply anymore. While it's still

あなたは私に手紙を送ってくれる?
 (てくれない?
  てくれますか?
  てくれませんか?
  てください。
  てくださいますか?
  てくださいませんか?)

with changing てもらう into the conditional form てもらえる, the subject also seems to change from "I/peer" to "other person/not peer". E.g. I found sentences like

あなたは私を駅で降ろしてもらえませんか?
あなたはそれを調べてもらえますか?
あなたは私に会っていただけますか?
あなたは私に本を貸していただけませんか?

However, with more indirect request this change of subject doesn't occur...

私はあなたに車で迎えに来てもらえるかしら?
私はあなたに写真を撮ってもらえないでしょうか?

Are my observations correct, and if so, why is it that the subject changes?

  • I cannot make head or tail of what you're asking here. – Ben Mar 6 at 0:35
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あなたは私を駅で降ろしてもらえませんか? is unnatural. It is generally 私を駅で降ろしてもらえませんか? and it means "Couldn't I have you drop me off at the station". The subject is "I". It is the same as "私はあなたに車で迎えに来てもらえるかしら?" and "私はあなたに写真を撮ってもらえないでしょうか?".

As for いただく、the subject of いただく is "I" and it is commonly omitted. The structure is 私は、"あなたが私と会うことを" いただけますか?

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