An equivalent of the word “hopefully” and “please be”in japanese when used in a certain context

Question

In english, someone trying to be amusing might say

That thing is definitely a cat. Definitely. Probably. Hopefully. Please be 

or something cheesy along those lines to (try) to amuse someone else.

For those who don't see what's amusing about the sentence, the person saying the sentence starts of by asserting that he is 100% sure, then his confidence slowly tapers down till the point he is praying that it's true (of course, the goal is just to instill some amusement). Hopefully, that gives enough context of the sentence

I don't know if this is the right place to ask, but the question is, how does one say "hopefully" and "please be" in that context? Google translate tells me it's "うまくいけば" and "してください", but that's definitely wrong especially when using it in this context. Or does Japanese not have these kinds of words that are used in this context

I'll remove this question if this is not the place to ask these kinds of questions

Answer 1

"That thing is definitely a cat. Definitely. Probably. Hopefully. Please be."

The easier one first -- "Please be". Native speakers' (or perhaps just my) phrase choices would be:

「そうであってください！」 or

「そうでありますように！」

The 「そう」 part can be replaced by 「ネコ」 above.

Moving on to "hopefully"...

How this is said might differ greatly from one person to another. Natural-sounding phrases would include:

「（そう）だといいん（だけど/ですけど）」　Can drop the 「そう」.

「そう願{ねが}って（る）」

「恐{おそ}らくそうだ（と思{おも}う）」

Answer 2

Well, when you say "in a certain context", I'm not unfamiliar with this pattern of laughable line in Japanese stories either, except that the wording would be not quite like a literal translation of English.

Examples (all assumed younger male (because you keep using "he") in casual conversation):

あれは猫に決まってるだろ。絶対……たぶん……きっと……だよな！？

あれはどう見ても猫だろ。絶対……恐らく……そうだと言ってくれ、頼むから！

あれは猫だろ、絶対。いや、気がする。……信じてる。……ワンチャンっ…！

FYI the last word ワンチャン{LHHHH} is a recent buzzword whose full meaning is like "although the hope is slim but what if I've got one chance...?" or practically a synonym of "with any luck". Don't pronounce it わんちゃん{HLLLL} because it means "doggo".