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I'm struggling to correctly understand the meaning of the sentence in bold below.

To explain the context: Person 2 originally promised to go together with Person 1 into battle. However, Person 2 has now been forbidden by the king from going into battle. After Person 1 hears about this they go to visit Person 2 before they set out to battle.

Person 1 そんなに心配しなくても大丈夫。 必ず生きて帰ってくるから。

Person 2 …………何故一緒に行けないのか…… 問いたださないんですか。

Person 1 反故にしてついてきて、なんて言うの? 身勝手すぎるでしょ……。

Person 2 身勝手でいいじゃないですか。

Person 1 もちろん無理矢理にでも連れていきたいでも、次の戦いは生き残れるかどうかわからない。 人の命まで背負いこめない。

Looking up 反故にする I think it would have the meaning of 約束を破ったり契約を無効にしたりする. In this context I imagine it would either be referring to the 約束 between Person 1 and 2, or whether to "ignore" the Kings order.

The main thing that is causing me a bit of confusion is what Person 1 is saying when they say なんて言うの. Is this in direct response to Person 2's question 問いたださないんですか i.e. something like: "Disobey orders and follow me". That would be awfully selfish.

Any help to clarify whether I have understood this correctly, or to correct my misunderstandings would be appreciated.

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I would read the line as:

反故にしてついてきて、なんて言うの? 身勝手すぎるでしょ……。(だから敢えて問いただすことはしない。)
If you follow me ignoring the order/promise (not to go to the battle), what will you say (to that person)? You are too selfish (if you ignore someone's promise/order). (So I won't bother to ask why you can't go with me.)

So 反故 refers to the order/promise someone gave to Person 2, and Person 1 somehow understands at this point that there is some high person who is stopping Person 2. But she doesn't know (and does not want to know) who is stopping Person 2.

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