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How to translate 'She got him bitten by a vampire on the neck (as in: she succeeded)'?

Can I translate it as:

彼女は彼が首に吸血鬼に噛まれたようにした。

My doubts are:

  1. Where should I put 首 in the sentence?
  2. するように means 'attempt to do something' instead of 'manage to do something/succeed in doing something'?
  • I assume there is a context, and you need to account for it: '彼女は彼が' reeks of translation. – Mathieu Bouville Mar 23 at 8:27
  • Do you mean she voluntarily had a vampire bite or she did something that resulted in a vampire biting? If the former, a causative may work. – Mathieu Bouville Mar 23 at 8:34
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Your attempt has two grammatical errors:

  • "To bite on the neck" is 首噛む.
  • There's no need to use the ta-form for 噛まれる (because of the "relative tense" rule).

After fixing these, we have:

彼女は彼が首吸血鬼に噛まれようにした。

This is okay, but for better readability, you may want to change the word order:

彼女は彼が吸血鬼に首を噛まれるようにした。

Note that this sentence means she had no direct control over 彼 and 吸血鬼. She only "set up the situation" (by shutting a door, etc). And it does not state whether or not the vampire actually bit him. In other words, she only attempted. If you need to clearly express that the vampire actually bit him, you'll have to rephrase the sentence, for example:

彼女は彼を操り、吸血鬼に彼の首を噛ませた。
彼女が○○したことで、吸血鬼は彼の首を噛んだ。

  • Thank you for clearing it up! – Jo H Mar 25 at 12:13

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