I found these from some songs. If たい is considered an I-adj then I wonder why it's だとか instead of とか.
だ between a verb/i-adjective and と/とか/なんて/etc adds an accusatory and/or shocked tone. In this case, this だ implies words like 死にたい and 愛を伝えたい are inappropriate because they are 軽々しい.
It's even used like an accusatory sentence-end particle (masculine and rough, mainly in fiction):
- はあ、怖いだぁ？ Huh? (Are you saying) are you afraid?
- 何、知っていただ？ What? D'you say you knew this?
It's also possible to say "verb + ですって?":
- えっ、3人いるですって? Eh, (you said) there are three people!?
- 静かにしろですって? Do you (really) want me to shut up?
〜だとか and 〜とか are really similar meaning. Actually you can use 軽々しく死にたいとか instead of 軽々しく死にたいだとか. If I were to say something like this:
（I don't feel anything about the word "死にたい" and him）
(I don't like the word 死にたい or the fact he said 死にたい, I am thinking he shouldn't say such a things)
Yu-chan said "wanna quit the job".
If someone said this sentence anxiously, I'd feel the person didn't want her to do so. In speech we usually use ~とか like this: someone said something and I wanna say the words.
If my friends told me 優ちゃん「仕事やめたい」だとか言ってた！ I'd feel something was wrong.
優ちゃん「仕事やめたい」とか言ってた！is more naturally.
And another situation: we use it for rumor.
According to the rumor, he is rich...
I don't know if he is rich or not.
Someone said something but I don't know if it is true or not.
I heard from my friend that A said "wanna die".
I hear from my friend but I don't know if it is true or not. In this case, you can change ~だとか to ~らしい.
and sometimes we say 行ったんだとか with the same meaning as 行っただとか.