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I am trying to make a skit with a group and this is what they have decided they want the beginning to be.

We are very new to Japanese, taking a compressed class this summer and are having trouble composing the sentences correctly.

Would anyone mind checking it out and see how we did in our translations?

The things in bold I am particularly concerned about.

N trips

N: いたい

A: だいじょぶですか。

B: びょういんのでんわをかけますか。 Do you need me to call an ambulance?

N: いいえ、びょういんのでんわをかけません。だいじょうぶです。No I don't need an ambulance. I'm fine.

N: ええと、はじめましたキリスですよろしくおねがいします。

A: リチですこれわジエイソンくんです。私のともだちです。I am Rich. This is (my friend) Jason. This doesn't even say what i want. I believe it says, "I am Rich, this is Jason. At the very least I think the last line should be 私はジエイソンくんのともだちです。

B:ともだちじゃないです。

A:eeh?

B:じょだんです。 ごしゅっしんは I am joking, where do you come from?  I would like this to be more natural like i am obviously joking perhaps じょだんです,じょだんです?

N:カナダです。

A/B: そですね。

  • ask for tl check on hinative or Lang9 – Igor Skochinsky Jun 9 '18 at 23:11
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ええと、はじめましたキリスですよろしくおねがいします。

Suggestion: ええと、はじめまして。キリスです。よろしくおねがいします。

A:リチですこれわジエイソンくんです。私のともだちです。

This would mean, "I'm Rich. This is Jason. He is my friend."

Don't use "kore" for a person, use "kochira". Also, beware of わ. は is the correct hiragana for "wa" particle usage.

"私はジエイソンくんのともだちです" would mean, "I am Jason's friend."

Suggestion: "My name is Rich. This is my friend Jason."
わたしのなまえはリチです。こちらはわたしのともだち、ジェイソンです。

B:じょだんです。 ごしゅっしんは

Suggestion: じょうだんだよ。ごしゅっしんは?

This still sounds unnatural to me to have these two right next to each other. I fixed the hiragana spelling of joudan and changed it to "da yo". If you two are friends you should use the casual copula and "yo" for emphasis.

N:カナダです。

Suggestion: カナダからきました。(I came from Canada.) 

A/B: そですね。

Suggestion: そうですか。

Sou desu ne implies that you already knew he came from Canada, and you are agreeing with them.

Sou desu ka means that you didn't know before, "Is that so?"

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