Is this phrase correct?

Question

First of all, let me say that my grammar skills are really bad. Basically i've been watching a few videos and managed to read some stuff about basic grammar, so i decided to make up my own sentence with those grammar forms so that they would stay in my head a bit longet. The grammar forms i've studied recently are: ほうがいい、ように One it's used to tell someone about something that he should do (or not do) while the other one (in this case) it's used to tell someone stuff that he should do in order to reach a certain status. This is the phrase i came up with: お金持ちになるように貯めたほうがいいですよ。

お金持ちになるように　(in order to get rich), 貯めたほうがいいですよ ( you should save)

This is how i built the phrase: while im sure there are less complex ways to say the same thing, i just wanted to mess around with those forms: some people have been saying that this sounds abnormal, some others said it was fine; so i'll leave it to the experts: does that sounds normal?

Answer 1

The answer would depend largely on what you mean by "correct".

「お金持{かねも}ちになるように貯{た}めたほうがいいですよ。」

If you are asking whether or not this sentence is grammatical, yes, it is grammatical.

If you are asking if it is natural-sounding, no, it is not even though it was a good attempt on your part.

Assuming that the other person has already stated that s/he wants to be wealthy, it would be more natural to use 「なれる」 instead of 「なる」. This would be the simplest way to make your sentence sound a little better and more natural.

If I may make any changes to make it sound like it has been written by a native speaker, then I might suggest sentences such as:

「お金持ちになりたいのなら、（お金を）貯めたほうがいいですよ。」

「お金持ちになりたいのであれば、もっと貯金{ちょきん}したほうがいいと思{おも}います（よ）。」

「お金持ちになりたければ、もっと貯金するようにしたほうがいいですよ。」