Japanese Language Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for students, teachers, and linguists wanting to discuss the finer points of the Japanese language. It only takes a minute to sign up.
Sign up to join this community
For the longest time, I thought 素直 meant "honest" (because my dicitionary gave it as one of several meanings). Now I've also seen the meaning "docile". and now I'm totally confused. Eg. in the sentence
素直になればいい
Are you meant to become more honest (to whom)? Or more obedient (to whom/what)? Does it depend on the context?
Is it possible my confusion stems from the fact that we would express these things completely differently in English?
素直 has a few subtle uses. If someone is describing another person as "sunao", they could mean honest, I suppose, but it might more accurately be described as "being honest to oneself" ... in other words, to be accepting of some fact, (as opposed to being argumentative about it, which is where the sense of being "docile" fits in with the various uses of the word) In anime where I've heard it used, it's generally someone asking another person to accept their situation with grace. That ties in with obedience if the situation is that of a subordinate to a superior. If you're arguing with your higher-ups, you are definitely not "素直"
Common phrases that include 素直:
sunao na hanashi: a frank, honest discussion
sunao na hito: a mild-mannered/calm/open-minded/frank person (depends on context)
sunao ni naru: calm down/be honest (with yourself)/give in
I have always understood sunao as being honest, open, dropping your pride, ego and just being honest with and about yourself and what you feel, which seems to fit most situations it is used. Having feelings for someone and not telling them, harbouring resentment and such things are not sunao. I see 素直に話を聞いて differently from some explanations (obedience etc); to me it means “Listen with an open heart, put aside all of your fears, pride, worries, resentments and ego, and listen. It’s not about who is right, put all that aside and just hear me out.” For me, Sunao struck a nerve because when I learned the word I realized that most of my life I had not been sunao in so many important situations. I guess a counterpoint is hikyou; if you are being hikyou then you are not being sunao. That might be a distraction. When I became sunao in relationships it helped me a lot. Isn’t it interesting how the Japanese have been misunderstood as dispassionate and stifled, when they have this terrific vocabulary for emotional and mental states (think of all the 擬態語for feelings). I have a suspicion that the Western influence, new rationalised mentality and industrialisation since Meiji has created these internal conflicts for the Japanese. They want to be sunao but they cannot tell their boss, teacher or parent what they think because of the new industrial hierarchy, so they feel stress, guilt, depression and despair as they give in to society’s demands. A movie that I think illustrates sunao in relationships is Hula.
素直 is the state of "keeping it real".
The way I perceive it, 素直 implies thinking or actions are pure in that there's no hidden, often self-serving motivation. In other words, "keep it real".
My version of @ericfromabeno 's examples:
素直になる: "keep it real with oneself", "be honest with oneself", "admit that one's perceived sense of entitlement is different from reality"
素直な人: Someone whose thinking or actions don't hide anything, especially selfish motivations. Someone who "keeps it real".
素直な話: conversation where all sides are open and there isn't any unspoken selfish motivation. Conversation where all sides "keep it real" with each other.
