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The following is an excerpt from a reply from my language partner: 「チームのスパイ行為」 が主語で、「暗示を上げる」という行為の間にはさまれた条件文を、受身形にした場合と、能動形(普通の文)にした場合で比較しているので、わかりにくくなっています。

For context: I tried out a rather overcomplicated structure in passive voice because I wanted to see wether this is still grammatical/understandable or not. I also wrote down the same sentence in the active voice and I asked for her feedback. Here are the 2 sentences (ridden with awful grammar):

passive voice: 例えば、チームのスパイ行為はチームにwhaleとsharkの言葉を選ばれるつもりだったら、「Fish, 2」という暗示を上げたらいいでしょう。この番号は代行者にスパイ行為が望言葉の分量を送ります。

Active voice: 例えば、チームのスパイ行為はチームがwhaleとsharkの言葉を選ぶつもりだったら、「Fish, 2」という暗示を上げたらいいでしょう。この番号は代行者にスパイ行為が望言葉の分量を送ります。

So, back to the sentence in question, here is my attempt at translation: "It is difficult to understand, because you made a comparison in the case where you made the conditional statement, which was inserted in the space between「チームのスパイ行為」as the subject and the action 「暗示を上げる」, active voice (the normal sentence) and in the case where you made the conditional statement passive voice."

In my translation, I assumed that チームのスパイ行為」 が主語で、「暗示を上げる」という行為の間にはさまれた is the attribute to 条件文. Furthermore, I assumed that 条件文 relates to both 受身形にした場合 and 能動形にした場合. I don't know if thats correct, but I couldn't find any other solution which would have made sense.

I'm also not entirely sure wether my interpretation of the particle で in 場合で is legit.

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  • 1
    Are you trying to explain the game codenames in Japanese?
    – virmaior
    Commented Jan 16, 2018 at 1:53
  • Yes I tried to in an experimental way :D
    – Narktor
    Commented Jan 17, 2018 at 20:34

1 Answer 1

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Parse it like this:

① 「チームのスパイ行為」 が主語だ  
② (しかし、その主語と)「暗示を上げる」という行為の間にはさまれた条件文を、
  受身形にした場合と、能動形(普通の文)にした場合で比較している

→ので、わかりにくくなっています。

Or:

It (your attempt) has become difficult to understand because:

  1. チームのスパイ行為 is the subject
  2. But you're comparing the passive version and the active (ordinary) version of the conditional clause which is between it (="the subject") and the action 暗示を上げる.

「暗示を上げる」という行為の間にはさまれた条件文 refers to the conditional clause between チームのスパイ行為 (the subject) and 暗示を上げる. Namely it's this:

チームがwhaleとsharkの言葉を{選ぶ/選ばれる}つもりだったら、

She is saying this conditional clause was particularly difficult to understand to her because this part was inserted in the middle of the ordinary subject-verb pair, and you have switched passive/active voices without taking the flow of the sentence into consideration.

Well, I can at least parse her remark, but note that I don't know whether her remark is correct. Your attempt contains a number of errors and I'm not sure what you wanted to say...

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  • Thanks! :) What I wanted to say with the passive voice version was this: "For example, concerning the spymaster, if there was the plan that ‘whale’ and ‘shark’ are chosen by the team, ‘Fish, 2’ would be a suitable hint.[…]". What I wanted to say with the active voice version was this: „For example, concerning the spymaster, if there was the plan that the team choses ‘whale’ and ‘shark’, ‘Fish, 2’ would be a suitable hint.[…]”.
    – Narktor
    Commented Jan 17, 2018 at 13:25

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