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i have been wondering what is exactly the meaning of 寝取られ or definition of it. i tried to translate it using google translate to english and my native language and the result was confusing.

to english: to be taken off.

to my native language: husband who has an unloyal wife.

and if it's true the meaning is "unloyal wife", whats the opposite word of it, i mean the term for "unloyal husband"?

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寝=sleep

取られる=be taken away, robbed

嫁が、誰かに寝取られた。

=My wife was taken away from me by someone, who was sleeping with her.

Traditionally, in old Japan, in politically incorrect eras, men were regarded as the main persons who have immoral sex.

Men often cheat on their wives, and it was their doing. However, if women cheat on their husband, it was thought that it was not their intention. Women were seduced to have sex by the immoral men. So it was said that "the woman was taken by a man, by means of having sex (by means of sleeping with that man).

In today, I mean in the politically correct time, you can use that expression to both gender. ”私の夫は、あのふしだらな悪女に寝取られた。”

Other expressions are:

不倫妻

不倫夫

不倫をしている妻

不倫をしている夫

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寝取る is a compound verb which is made of 寝る ("to sleep") and 取る ("to take, to pick, to deprive"). So 寝取る as a set verb means something like "to deprive by sleeping". It refers to stealing someone's partner via giving sexual pleasure.

寝取られ is the masu-stem of the passive form of 寝取る. Putting grammar aside, it roughly means "(one's partner is) being stolen by sleeping / having sex".

I don't know where you saw 寝取られ, but did you see 寝取られ by itself? Recently 寝取られ is considered as a genre of a story (often in pornographic contexts). In this sense, 寝取られ is even commonly "abbreviated" to NTR. Maybe "stolen love" is enough to translate this concept, but there may be an established term I'm not aware of.

寝取られ itself is a gender-neutral word, although it typically refers to a heroine (female) who has a partner making love with another male character, unwillingly/reluctantly at first, but willingly in the end. The character doesn't have to be married. I think "husband who has an unloyal wife" may be too narrow as a translation.

  • given the fact you translate it as "stolen love", does it mean its necessary to be "unwillingly at first, but willingly to the end"? does partner who willingly to cheat since beginning count as NTR? – Kakashi Aug 8 '17 at 2:33
  • Intentional cheating from the beginning would be better described as 二股 or 不倫 (不倫 is only for married person). "Typical" NTR is like what I said, and the "sense of guilt" is usually an important part of it. But the definition of this word is not very strict. – naruto Aug 8 '17 at 4:08

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