1

My grammar book says I can use the と particle to mean 'and'. It continues to say that I can use the particle to indicate doing an action with someone else.

Eg: 友達と話した

The topic particle is not mentioned if it were included. Would it be 友達と私は ? 

友達と私は話した

I know that order in the sentence doesn't really matter but does it matter in this case? Like do I treat 友達と私は as one noun?

The book I use is Japanese Grammar Guide by Tae Kim.

2

I know this was already answered, but I'd like to expand a bit more:

The と particle in this kind of case can be thought of as an appending particle. When you think of it in this way, 'and' and 'with' are both appending words in English.

Some examples of both usages and how they correlate. First, as 'and':

私{わたし}友達{ともだち} = My friend and I
電車{でんしゃ}車{くるま} = Trains and Cars

Now, as 'with':

私{わたし}は友達{ともだち}会{あ}いました = I met with my friend.
友達{ともだち}はお父{とう}さんケーキ屋{や}に出{で}かけました = My friend went out to a cake shop with her father.

0

They are both separate nouns, but you can construct the sentences like your examples with no problem.

However, there's typically not a need to say 私 unless you have an explicit need to point out it was definitely you that your friend was speaking with.

For example, if somebody asks what you were doing, if you said 友達と話した, it is obvious that you are speaking about yourself and your friend.

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