A girl is monologuing. She's talking to another girl. She had previously said what she desires is her happiness. After that she monologues:
I'm well aware that the sentence she said before means something like: You're wrong, Alice. I'm only saying that to make myself look better.
This is what I'm not sure about:
I'm just running away from it all by pretending/through caring about you like this.
She really cares or she makes it seem she cares?