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  • 外国人が日本語を話すのをは女々しい、日本人の女の子と言っていました.
  • 日本人の女の子は、外国人が日本語を話すのをは女々しいと言っていました.

I want to say this: "A japanese girl said that foreigners speak japanese effeminate" (The girl that said this expression to me explain that foreigners does not use to much the informal way of talking)

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    The tripling-up of particles in のをは doesn't strike me as particularly natural, but I'm admittedly not a native Japanese speaker. – Eiríkr Útlendi Jan 26 '17 at 6:44
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Neither is correct. First, you don't need を when it's topicalized with は. On that ground, the first sentence is unclear how the part 外国人が日本語を話すのは女々しい (It's wimpy for foreigners to speak Japanese) is involved into the rest 日本人の女の子と言っていた (someone said "a Japanese girl"). The second one has a problem in the point that it looks as if it refers to Japanese girls in general. You need some determinater like ある (a certain) for 日本人の女の子 or to express the sentence as a Sentence of neutral description i.e. 日本人の女の子 外国人は日本語を 女っぽく 話す と言っていた.(←女っぽい)

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