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I have been agonizing and researching this line from もしドラ by 岩崎夏海 for a while now and I'm throwing in the towel.

The context describes a girl's thoughts as she is made to recount an unpleasant memory by a friend. The sentence is:

それと同時に、苦い思いも込みあげてきた。それは複雑な感情だった。一つには、夕紀が語ろうとしたことへの苦い思い出。もう一つは、夕紀に気を遣わせたことへの申し訳なさだった

My translation so far is:

In the same instance she felt blackness and bitterness well up inside her. It was a complex feeling, as while what Yuki was about to recount would stir dark emotions inside her, it was no excuse for making her friend worry.

I know 気を使う is defined as 'to attend to, to pay attention to' etc, but I have tried to stretch it here to mean 'worry' to go with the causative.

Literally, I imagine it's:

The other point was, the apology to having made (taken) Yuki's attention.

Basically, I'm utterly confused and not at all confident about this one line, so any help would be much appreciated, thank you!

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    Perhaps you're mixing 黒い ("black") and 思い ("thoughts"). 黒い出 makes no sense. And you're also missing the basic structure of these sentences. 「一つには~。もう一つは~。」 = "One (cause of her complex feeling) was [noun]. The other was [noun]". – naruto Jan 14 '17 at 2:38
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「もう一{ひと}つは、夕紀{ゆき}に気{き}を遣{つか}わせたことへの申{もう}し訳{わけ}なさだった。」

Was translated by you to:

"it was no excuse for making her friend worry."

My first immediate reaction was: "Where did you get 'no excuse' from at all?"

「申し訳な」 is only the noun form of the adjective 「申し訳な」. That い-to-さ change is extremely common. 長い ⇒ 長さ、高い ⇒ 高さ, etc.

「申し訳なさ」 means "a feeling of regret", "an apologetic feeling", etc. I am guessing that you thought it meant "no excuse", no?

My own TL (Why am I translating every phrase a stranger somewhere wonders about?):

"Another thing was a/her feeling of regret that she caused Yuki to worry."

  • Thanks for the replies. I actually copied it down from the book wrong, so probably going to lose marks here... I did eventually get to the translation you suggested, I think the answer here is not to translate so late at night! – user18083 Jan 14 '17 at 3:42

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