I'm re-reading/translating a section of 金原ひとみ's 星へ落ちる for a translation course I'm taking and ran into the following sentence:
彼がこの家にいない時、私は彼があの人と食事しているところとあの人とセックスしているところを想像しまいと、延々タバコを吸っては自分を無意味なものへ変えていく。
I've never run into this usage of しまい before and am curious about why it's being used here. A quick web search brings up mostly the phrase 「しようとしまいと」, so I've parsed it in this sentence as the equivalent of 「しない」, meaning that it's the -まい form of する and making the sentence read as something along the lines of "When he isn't home, if I don't imagine him sharing a meal or having sex with that person, I endlessly smoke cigarettes and drift into a meaningless existence."
So I guess my questions are:
- Did I parse this sentence correctly?
- Is there any particular reason for this usage of -まい? The novel consists mostly of a woman's inner dialogue and isn't at all formal, so this felt a little out of place.