3

complete paragraph:

それを実際に役立たせたいなどとは、まったく思っていませんでした。しかし、われわれが最初のiPhoneを設計している時に、それが私の脳裏によみがえってきたのです。
I never thought I'd make use of that (an idea discussed earlier). But, when we designed the first iPhone, i remembered that (idea).

But what if I were to add "は":

それを実際に役立たせたいなどとは、まったく思っていませんでした。しかし、われわれが最初のiPhoneを設計している時に、それが私の脳裏によみがえってきたのです。

That is about placing emphasis? and in that context you don't need emphasis? It would sound weird / confusing? The reader would think "Why is emphasis placed there? Is he/she comparing it to something? It doesn't really matter, I will ignore that は and keep reading.".

In order for "時には to sound natural, the context would be like:

Macを設計している時に、私は世間知らずな大学生でした。iPhoneを設計している時に、社員5,000人以上の会社の社長でした。

When we designed the Mac (emphasis placed if speaking) I was a college student who knew nothing about the world. But, when we designed the iPhone (emphasis placed if speaking) I was the CEO of a company with more than 5,000 employees.

To do a contrast, place emphasis on those 2 points in time?

With regard to saying 時に、 instead of 時には、, is this explanation correct?

  • Possible duplicate of とは、では、には Understanding of double particles – strawberry jam Jun 30 '16 at 15:44
  • @strawberryjam My question is much less open-ended. I'm talking about just one sentence. A pro translator wrote "~時に、" where I wrote "~時には、". I think what I did was add a contrastive は where it is not needed. And, that makes my translation sound unnatural, but has no other impact. – Just Someone Jun 30 '16 at 16:56
1

Macを設計している時には、私は世間知らずな大学生でした。

  • At the time when we designed the Mac...

しかし、われわれが最初のiPhoneを設計している時に、それが私の脳裏によみがえってきたのです。

  • But when we were designing the first iPhone...

しかし、われわれが最初のiPhoneを設計している時には、それが私の脳裏によみがえってきたのです。

  • But at the time when we were designing the first iPhone...
  • So, " (present-continuous verb tense + いる時に、" comes out basically meaning "while"? – Just Someone Jun 30 '16 at 15:18
  • That sounds right to me. These all sound good, "while we were...~ing", "when we were...~ing", "as we were...~ing" – sazarando Jun 30 '16 at 21:30

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