My instructor told us that toki is used for placing an action that has happened at a certain time. For example:
さびしい時、友達に電話します。
But then how come this sentence is wrong? I'm sure that I used the correct particle, because I used this toki as a time reference to the main event which is Sara getting shot.
サラとサラのお父さんへいっしょにテクサスを逃げる時、サラのお父さの前にサラはうたれるので、人達がサラとサラのお父さんはゾンピみたいです。
I thought I used the appropriate grammar points but my instructor marked this whole sentence wrong. I don't know what I wrote incorrectly? I wanted to say that when Sara and her dad were escaping Texas, Sara was shot in front of her father because the people thought they were zombies. We learned that we use toki for placing actions that has happened but as I said my instructor marked it all wrong.