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Ryura! Would you like to sing 'Isshin Furan' with me and a friend?

This is what I have so far...

Ryuraさん!「一心不乱」を私と一緒に歌えませんか?

Please help me make it sound more fluid if possible!

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1 Answer 1

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Ryuraさん!私たちと「一心不乱」を歌いませんか?
-OR-
Ryuraさん!一緒に「一心不乱」を歌いませんか? 

Note that it's utaimasen and not utaemasen. The latter denotes inability. Additionally, you also have the option of using more informal language.

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    "Would you like to sing 'Isshin Furan' with me AND A FRIEND?" と言いたいそうなのですが。。。
    – Chocolate
    Jul 6, 2015 at 8:21
  • あ、見落としてしまいました。すみません。だが、いちいち「私の友達と」を言うのはなんだか流れない気がします。
    – LiveMynd
    Jul 6, 2015 at 8:24
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    「私と」のところは、「私たちと」としてみるのはいかがですか。
    – Chocolate
    Jul 6, 2015 at 8:36
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    @DavidJablonski "utaemasenka?" is asking one's availability whereas "utaimasenka?" is asking one's feelings or intention, I think. For example, if someone asks 「日曜日に私たちと一緒に歌えませんか?」, it means "Are you available to sing with us on Sunday?" On the other hand, if someone asks 「日曜日に私たちと一緒に歌いませんか?」, it implies "Please join us to sing on Sunday, if you like." The point is "if you like." 「手伝っていただけませんか」 is like "Are you available to help me?" so. Both ways are correct and common. It just depends on what a speaker actually wants to mean. Sep 5, 2015 at 0:12
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    @DavidJablonski The subject of 一緒に歌いませんか is the hearer, but in 手伝っていただけませんか (手伝ってもらえませんか), the subject is the speaker, "Can I get help..." so you don't say 手伝ってもらいませんか or 手伝っていただきませんか. Compare it with 手伝ってくれませんか/くださいませんか instead.
    – Chocolate
    Sep 5, 2015 at 7:48

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