I heard the phrase of "ぼくとお茶しませんか" from a rather odd Japan Times article by a presumably Japanese woman called Kaori Shoji. It's also mentioned elsewhere, such as in a native speaker's blog about Japanese.

It literally means "Won't you have green tea with me?", but there's two things I don't know.

What venue is implied by the phrase? Is it implied to be a public venue such as a cafe, or instead is it somebody's home?

Also, is the phrase still used nowadays, or considered out-dated?

2 Answers 2


ぼくとお茶しませんか is used to Nanpa described in that article.

For men, the favored tactic was nanpa (originally derived from the term nanjyaku, 軟弱 — which means softie) and this amounted to cruising the streets of Shibuya or Shinjuku, looking out for anyone cute who seemed available, and pulling out that famed and lamest of lines: “Bokuto ocha shimasenka? (「ぼくとお茶しませんか」, “Would you like to have a cup of tea with me?”).

If I want to say "Let's take a break" to my friends, I use

  • ちょっとお茶しない?
  • 休憩しない?

and others.

In this situation, 僕と/私と is left out because it emphasizes "with who?" more than needs. So ぼくとお茶しませんか? is too politely, and it appears odd.

Also, is the phrase still used nowadays, or considered out-dated?

As one of Nanpa tactic, it maybe still used.

However, I have an impression Nanpa is outdated culture...


What venue is implied

At least traditionally, Kissa-tens. Kissa-tens used to be cool until around the 80's together with this phrase. Note that "tea" here doesn't mean green tea. Kissa-ten's primary attraction is coffee and to a lesser degree english tea.

Also, is the phrase still used nowadays, or considered out-dated?

I would say mostly outdated.

  • I still hear it a lot in the sense of "let's take a break" - ちょっとお茶しましょうか。 Would you count this as outdated as well?
    – deceze
    Feb 15, 2015 at 0:16
  • If it is outdated, what phrase do they use now?
    – user4032
    Feb 15, 2015 at 1:16
  • 2
    I don' think it's outdated. As unarist says, it sounds to me a shy boy is trying to seduce a woman on the street. And we still have many Kissa-ten's, far more than 80's.
    – user7644
    Feb 15, 2015 at 3:27
  • @deceze: No I wouldn't count that as outdated. IMO the idea that Kissa-tens are cool and that you'd take a person who you are attracted to Kissa-ten is what is outdated now. Feb 15, 2015 at 10:06
  • @KentaroTomono: Would you use Kissa-tens to do nampa tho? If I were hypothetically had to do nampa, I sure won't choose Kissa-tens. I also don't see people really doing nampa during the day; IMO it tends to happen at night and Karaoke/Izakaya is the usual choice. Feb 15, 2015 at 10:09

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