Husband can use all of these like 私の家内, 私の嫁, うちの嫁, 私の妻, うちの奥さん, かみさん, うちのかみさん. In these words, かみさん is friendly and colloquial. Other persons cannot use 家内, 嫁, 妻, because it's not polite. Others can say あなたの奥さん, おたくの奥さん, おかみさん.
Wife says 私の主人, うちの主人, 私の夫, うちの旦那. In these words, 旦那 indicates the wife is not respectful of her husband. If others use 夫, it's not polite. Others say ご主人, あなたのご主人, おたくのご主人, あなたの旦那さま.
家内/主人 is a polite humble word. 嫁/旦那 is an item which is taken into the family clan, so it has a shade of oldie heritage. 妻/夫 is a legal neutral word.
The maid would say 奥さま, ご主人さま.
細君 is a little bit classical word, often seen in old Japanese novels. 宿六 yado roku is another little bit classical word for a husband. 宿六 is funny and disrespectful, 細君 is decent.