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周りから、ってか自分以外の目線で見た時のコメントも欲しいので、ちょいちょいママとか友達に見せてもらったりとかしながら。

Here's the youtube video I got it from: https://youtu.be/k-jyUxatOrs?si=mw7zAUOaDUXNJ12f&t=1041

I can tell she's showing something to her mom and friends because she wants the opinions of people around her or anyone with perspectives other than her own. Here's what I don't get:

  • 時 - What is the purpose of 時? Understood like a normal 時 relative clause, this would be "the perspective of people besides myself on... time? I don't get it.
  • "のコメント." - is this "comments from the time when people besides myself look at it"? If so, does this sound wordy in Japanese too?
  • "もらったり." Does this refer all the way back to コメント? And doesn't this imply some other action occurs? I'm not sure what that would be.
  • "とか." - I thought とか could only come between nouns?
  • "しながら. - Totally lost here.

Any help would be appreciated.

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    時 is more like when here. Comments (that are made) when (someone) sees from the perspective other than myself.
    – sundowner
    Dec 22, 2023 at 4:18
  • If there are multiple grammar points you don't understand in a single sentence, it will be much better for your learning if you find isolated examples of those points and study/ask about them first. While it's good to provide proper context to understand things in context, asking about a whole sentence like this is more appropriate when you understand the pieces and are trying to figure out how they fit together. Dec 22, 2023 at 20:05

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So basically the context is that she's telling how she trains (dancing and singing, as far as I could tell; I didn't watch it all). First she says that, more than ever, after a lesson she feels the urge to practice and be ready before the next lesson:

練習して次のレッスンまでにはちゃんとしたいっていう気持ちが強くなりました。

Then she tells that she gets satisfied when trainning by herself:

自分で練習する分には満足できると思うんですけど、

And then she says the big phrase you got lost at.

First, to clarify, she does say 見せて near the end fo the phrase but she immediately corrects it to 見て. So this is the sentence she meant to say:

周りから、ってか自分以外の目線で見た時のコメントも欲しいので、ちょいちょいママとか友達に見てもらったりとかしながら。

Now to your questions...

  • What is the purpose of 時?

It gets translated to "when". "I also want the comments from when seen from around, I mean someone else's perspective."

  • "のコメント" - is this "comments from the time when people besides myself look at it"? If so, does this sound wordy in Japanese too?

Yes, and yes, it kind of does; she's saying these things as the come to her mind and didn't prepare a script in prior so it doesn't sound too weird but she could've said it shorter than that.

  • "もらったり"

This refers to the 見て. 見てもらう is how you say "someone sees it", nuancing that "it helps me in some way" or "they do it because they want to help" etc.

  • "とか" (edited)

とか can come between nouns and verbs:

(2) 1 事物や動作・作用を例示的に並列・列挙する意を表す。

  • "しながら"

This is a construction allowed to verbs in Japanese. You must conjugate the verb (in this case する) in the conjunctive form (連用形) and connect it to ながら, and it has the meaning of "while verb"; e.g. while sleeping (寝ながら), while singing (歌いながら).

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  • I didn't put the whole translation in the answer because you haven't asked for it (maybe you wanted to try it yourself) Dec 22, 2023 at 4:37
  • Thanks a lot for your answer. I have a few follow-up questions if you're willing to take a look. 1. Is 周りから in this context wrong or otherwise inappropriate? I ask because she suddenly rephrased it with a ってか. Can I use 周りから the way she (almost) does here? Ex. 今日は周りからコメントをもらってきた。2. I understand たり as a grammar point, but what does it imply here? 3. My question with とか is why is there one between もらったり and しながら? 4. I know what ながら does but what are the parallel actions? One is obviously する, but what's the other? 5. Finally, if you could show me your translation I'd appreciate it. Dec 22, 2023 at 5:32
  • I forgot to @ you in my comment. Dec 22, 2023 at 15:32
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    @charlemagne 1. Yes and idk why she rephrased it 2. In here it doesn't imply anything; I think some ppl speak in that way just in case they decide to add something later; she could've just said '見てもらいながら' 3. My bad, I'll edit it into the answer 4. 見てもらいながら[練習してる], hence I described the context first 5. "I also want the comments from when seen from around, I mean someone else's perspective, so [I practice] from time to time while having mom or friends watch me". Dec 22, 2023 at 18:49
  • @charlemagne I've edited とか in my answer; I apologise for my previously inacurate answer. Dec 22, 2023 at 21:47

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