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俺も泣き顔より笑顔の方が格段にいいと思う。
だから笑わないセイバーには苛々していた。
なのに、彼女は言っていた。
笑えと言う自分に、笑っている俺を見ている方がいいと。

それは。
望遠鏡から覗く、届かない星と同じ。

My translation is the sequent:

I too believe a smiling face is way better than a crying one.
That is why I got angry at Saber who was not smiling.
Despite that, she said:
For her, looking at me smile was better than telling herself to smile

That was.
The same as looking through a telescope at an unreachable star.

I am not sure about this sentence.
I looked up the fantranslation and it goes like this:

I think a smiling face is much better than a crying one.
That's why I was irritated when Saber wasn't smiling.
But when I told her to smile.
She said that it was better if she saw me smiling.

That's…
It's like seeing stars through a telescope that you can never reach.

Which is the correct one and why?
Can someone explain?

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  • You might want to have another go at "For her looking me smile" because that doesn't make sense in English. I'm confused too though. I'd like to see this sentence broken down. I can't figure out who 自分 is referring to and why she uses 俺. Jan 20, 2016 at 15:26
  • Does the comma make it sound better? It's because that is what the protagonist; which is a guy, is thinking.
    – Splikie
    Jan 20, 2016 at 15:29
  • 1
    The comma helps. I added an 'at'. Jan 20, 2016 at 15:30

1 Answer 1

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I would parse it like this:

なのに彼女は、 [笑えと言う自分(=俺)]に、 「笑っている俺を見ている方がいい」と、 言っていた。
(lit.) However, she was saying, [to me, who told her to smile,] that seeing me smiling is better.

「笑っている俺を見ている方がいい」 in this context means "She (=Saber) is more comfortable when she sees me (=俺) smile (rather than when she herself smiles)".

So the fantranslation seems better to me.

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  • Thank you. I always get confused by 自分. Is it there a rule to understand to whom it refers?
    – Splikie
    Jan 20, 2016 at 15:59
  • @choco いつもありがとうございます…精進します
    – naruto
    Jan 20, 2016 at 16:02
  • @Splikie The person who could say 笑え in this situation is only "俺", I think.
    – naruto
    Jan 20, 2016 at 16:05

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