ane ha gakkou wo sotsugyougo ha kaigairyuugaku shitai sou desu.
My sister says that she wants to study abroad after graduating from school.
I found this sentence on http://www.mahou.org
If it is correct, would I also be able to write the same sentence (expressing the same meaning) in the following manner? I am specifically wondering about expressing desire of a third party subject using したい as opposed to したがっています. (also, is the translation's use of "says" problematic?)